meet you there
by anachiel
Summary: There's been a change, recently. Kagura doesn't know if she likes it or not.


There's been a change, recently.

Sadist is treating her better for some reason. Okay, they have their fights every now and then, and the verbal spats still don't cease. But, more often than not, they spend their time together sitting in their park, picking on people other than each other and occasionally beating a thug or eight when they happen to come across some in Kabuki District.

Even when they fight, he pulls his punches, careful not to leave even a bruise. Of course, she teases him for it, aiming to evoke a reaction from him, but he just shrugs and asks her if she wants to go for some ramen, and off they go.

Kagura doesn't know if she likes it or not.

* * *

On the tenth day, she decides to ask her Gin-chan about it.

She's lying next to Sadaharu, cuddling up to his warmth. It's a dreadfully cold day. It's the middle of spring, but the last dregs of the past winter still leave the air brisk and humid, before spring fully settles and sunshine takes its place.

The Yorozuya is chilly due to their heating being broken, and Gintoki is huddling in front of their only flimsy heater holding a blanket wrapped around himself, leaving no space for her. Hence, Sadaharu.

She's wants to get up to grab something to eat, but leaving her blissfully warm spot to make the trek to the kitchen is too unappealing. She decides to snuggle even more closer to Sadaharu, petting his soft fur.

"Hey, Gin-chan?"

He hums, bringing his hands closer to the heater to warm up his chilly fingers.

"Have you noticed something different with the Sadist this past week?" she asks.

She doesn't notice his shoulders tensing up and straightening a little, too busy with running her fingers through her dog's fur.

"What makes you ask that, Kagura?" he says with a strangled tone and she raises her gaze to look at him, noting his slightly furrowed eyebrows.

' _Probably because he can't pick his nose with his cold fingers,'_ she thinks and decides to ignore it. He deserves it anyways, he made her pick up the habit. _Anego_ says it's unbecoming, now that she's a woman.

"I don't know. He's been acting nicer? Yesterday he took me to dinner and didn't even complain about how much he had to pay."

She expects a dumb comment or for him to warn her against how _'all men are pigs and just after her body so don't date anyone ever, or at least until you're thirty'._

Instead he turns towards her, and asks her with now expression whatsoever;

"Well, I don't know. Why do you think that is?"

She stops combing her fingers through Sadaharu's fur, her hand resting lightly upon his slowly rising and falling belly. An expectant silence hangs in the air, and she has no idea how to answer. Has anything important happened recently that she's not aware of? Something to change the status quo? She tries to recall the events of the past few weeks and doesn't come up with anything.

"I don't know," she says, "it's probably his time of the month or something."

She is met with a deep sight and the sound of Gintoki shuffling back towards the heater.

"You know that men don't have that thing, right?"

She declines to respond and with the soothing sound of wind howling outside, settles down for a nap.

* * *

On the thirteenth day, she decides to admit she _kind of_ likes this change.

It's the day that Spring Festival of Edo takes place. She had been waiting for this the whole winter, looking forward to the sun making its appearance again, to bring its warmth and brightness along. The darkness of winter, hail and snow are things she has had too much of. She doesn't miss them.

She's walking Sadaharu through Kabuki district. The cold has finally broken after the last few days and she doesn't miss the chance to go out and bask in the sunlight. It's weak, obstructed by the clouds hovering above, so she holds her umbrella closed in her hand and makes her way to _their_ park.

He's there, sitting on the bench he has claimed as his own with his sleeping mask covering his eyes and his head leaning back.

She lets Sadaharu run ahead, and does something she would never allow herself to do. She lets herself, for a few moments, to look at him.

The weak sunlight is reflecting off his light-colored hair, making it look brighter and softer. The black of his uniform contrasts nicely with his skin, and she imagines how it would feel to run her fingers through his hair, to feel his soft looking skin, to gaze into his deep, crimson eyes and _drown_ -

He reaches up and moves his sleeping mask up and onto his head like he feels her gaze and she mentally slaps herself, _'God damn it, what the fuck was_ that-' and looks over to Sadaharu running around the park.

"Hey, China." he says. She turns towards him, who's still reclining on the bench, now his eyes boring into hers. It's almost like he's scrutinizing her, though she doesn't get why. After a few moments, he seems to relax and turns forward again.

Making her way to the bench, she sits down next to him, placing her umbrella next to the partly chipped wood.

"Don't you have work to do, Sadist?" she says, making herself comfortable.

He places his arms onto the back of the bench and says;

"I _am_ working. I'm on patrol, and right now I'm ensuring the security of the people in the park. Unlike some lazy asses who do nothing but lay around in their boss' office all day."

Kagura snorts, and leans back too, both of them watching Sadaharu chase kids around the park with a comfortable silence between them. After a while, his fingers start tap-tap-tapping on the bench with no rhythm.

"Come with me to the Spring Festival tonight." says Sougo.

Caught off guard, Kagura turns sideways to look at him. There's a subtle redness on his cheeks and his eyes are still trained forward, determinedly tracking the big white dog running around the park.

"Um. Well… I promised _Anego_ that I'd go with her-"

His fingers stop tapping on the bench abruptly. He pulls his arms to his sides and prepares to get up.

"Okay then. Give my best to that Goril-"

"But I think I'd like to go with you more, Sadist."

Surprised, Sougo sits back down on the bench and raises his eyes to look at her. She's fiddling with the handle of her umbrella, not meeting his eyes, but he can see a small turning up of her lips breaking through.

He quirks his lips in return, relishing in her smile and after a moment, rising from his seat.

"Then it's a date. Meet me here at five. Don't be late."

* * *

Shinpachi's at home when she gets there, cleaning the kitchen while Gintoki sleeps on the sofa wrapped in a blanket with his JUMP covering his face.

She toes off her shoes in the doorway and makes her way to Shinpachi.

"Hey, glasses."

Shinpachi startles, nearly dropping the bowl he's rinsing and turns to her with worried eyes.

"Kagura-chan! Where have you been? You weren't there when I got here and-"

"I was just walking Sadaharu, calm down!" she says. She'd be alarmed by his actions, if she wasn't used to Shinpachi being such a worrywart.

She makes her way to the fridge, ignoring Shinpachi's worried look and asks;

"Do you think _Anego_ would be mad if I didn't go to the festival with her?"

"Oh my God, Kagura-chan! Are you ill? Why aren't you going? Tell me where it hurts, I'll look if we have any medici-"

"Shut up, glasses! I'm not sick!" she says, throwing an annoyed look at the boy.

"Then why aren't you going to the festival? You love festivals!"

"Who said I'm not going, idiot!" she says, slamming the fridge door shut.

"Eh? Then why did you ask if Aneue would be mad if you didn't go?"

Kagura mumbles something he can't catch, still facing the fridge.

"What?" says Shinpachi, "I didn't hear that."

"I said I'm going with the Sadist, damn it! Do you think _Anego_ can help me to get ready?"

"Kagura-chan! Do you have a date? You do, don't you? You've been spending a lot of time with Okita-san lately, I'm not even surprised."

Kagura blushes, equal parts annoyed and embarrassed.

"Shut up, idiot! Just answer my question!"

* * *

Surprisingly, Gintoki doesn't make a fuss when she tells him she will go to the festival with Sougo, letting her off with a customary 'Don't be late,', and she's off to Shimura dojo.

 _Anego_ 's eyes almost sparkle when she tells her that she has a date with Sadist and she readily lends her a kimono which she promises to bring back intact.

She arrives at their park with five minutes to spare to find him already there, in daily clothes instead of his uniform.

"You look nice, China. I could get used to seeing you like this." he says without an ounce of sarcasm, and offers his arm to her. She feels warmth crawling up her neck and cheeks and thinks, _'I could get used to this too_.'

"Who knew a pig who could eat a restaurant out of ingredients and money could look like this. I'm impressed."

All those nice feelings she had hearing his words die a fiery death. _'Still the same fucking idiot he always was,_ ' she concludes. She crosses her arms with an annoyed expression.

"You just had to ruin it, didn't you, Sadist? And to think I went to all that trouble…" she says, mumbling the last part.

Sougo chuckles. Grabbing her arm, he steers her towards the direction the festival is taking place at.

"Well, come on then, China. Time waits for no man."

* * *

It's the most fun she has in ages.

Sougo lets her get anything she wants, which is mostly food and competes with her in everything that doesn't concern food, which are mostly shooting games.

They watch the fireworks from their park, the festival being too crowded to enjoy it properly. It is kind of chilly, and the grass is a little damp, but they don't mind. They lie down on the grass side by side, close to the cherry blossom trees where they first met and with all the prizes they won from all those shooting games and watch.

It's spectacular, the lights creating stark lines against the dark sky, curving, sparkling and bright, only to fade away moments later, followed by more and more. Kagura traces them all with entranced eyes, trying to follow every streak of light with her eyes which shine an unearthly blue.

Sougo watches her eyes, her expressions, rather than those fancy explosions of gunpowder. He's seen them all his life, but seeing this, his China girl, bright and happy, is a privilege that he intends to utilize until his very last moment. He watches the mirror of the fireworks in her eyes, the impression of them lighting her pale face, and the happiness of them from her lips, instead.

It's better and more satisfying than any light show he has ever seen.

* * *

They don't mind the damp grass against their backs, lying down on a lush patch of grass in their park under the dark night sky. The chilly night air raises goosebumps up her legs. Her arm touching his at her side, though, warms her up more than it should.

"You see that constellation, China?"

"All of those are just dots to me. You gotta be more specific."

Sougo sighs, taking her hand in his and raising it to pointing to eleven stars, tracing a path through the sky with her fingers.

"That's Koharu. You see it?"

At her nod, he continues.

"The legend says that she had a lover, a samurai named Ren."

He moves her hand to a little bit to the left, tracing nine other stars, both their arms rising, reaching towards the dark.

"She was a _miko_ , and despite forsaking both love and the mortal world to only love and service the _Kami,_ she fell in love with him."

Sougo lowers their arms back to his side, not letting go of Kagura's hand and she turns sideways to be able to both see him and the stars, bright blemishes against the night sky she never was able to see back in her home planet.

"The _Kami_ got angry at her for breaking her vow. She saw in a vision, that he was to go on a mission he wouldn't return from. She begged him not to go, but he had no choice. He promised Koharu, that if he didn't make it in this lifetime, he would find her in his next life, and they would be together, for eternity then.

"In the end, he didn't return and in her misery, her body deteriorated. She welcomed it, knowing she would get to meet her lover in her next life."

Kagura falls silent, tracing both constellations with her eyes, wondering if they ever got to meet in their next lives, or the one after that.

Sougo's hand still loosely around hers, she takes the chance and tightens her grip around his hand.

"Do you think they got to meet again? In their next lives?" she asks quietly, looking at his profile highlighted by the dim light of the moon.

He doesn't respond for a moment, gazing at the constellations he pointed out moments ago. Then he turns his head to look into her eyes and says;

"Who knows? The Kami are vengeful and cruel, so they probably didn't."

Neither of them say anything for a few minutes, silently watching the stars twinkle above. Kagura shifts, turning her head better to see him. His eyes are turned away, but she can see that his mind is far away.

She absentmindedly rubs small circles on the back of his hand, an anchor for him to stay rooted to that moment, to come back to here and now.

"Well, they're together now up in the sky, aren't they?"

Sougo tightens his grip and lets a small smile shine through.

* * *

He drops her off to the Yorozuya building just after one in the morning.

She doesn't know what to say. This is not what they usually do, an evening without fights or arguments isn't what she's used to. So she just goes with the flow, lets him lead her to her home with her arm tucked into his without argument.

She fiddles with the sleeves of her kimono for a moment, and looking at the floorboards of her doorway, says;

"U-Um. Well… Thank you… for tonight, Sadi-Sougo."

"Polite talk isn't becoming on a pig like you, China," Sougo says with a flat tone, leaning on one leg with his hands tucked into his pockets.

"Who are you calling a pig, dumbass?" Kagura says, clutching the arm of her kimono.

Sougo chuckles.

"Relax, China girl, I'm just teasing. I had fun too." he says, taking her hand that's wrinkling the sleeve of the kimono that _Anego_ lent to her. She lets go of it, not wanting to damage it further and lets Sougo take her hand and raising her eyes to meet his.

He's looking at her with a graveness she's never seen directed to her.

She doesn't resist a bit when he leans down towards her lips with his eyes half lidded.

She's entranced.

Expecting a fully consuming, dominating kiss from him befitting of his title, ' _Sadist_ ,' she's surprised by the delicate, close mouthed kiss she receives.

He pulls away after just a few moments, leaving her bewildered and wanting more.

He looks at her lips for a few moments, then raising them to meet her eyes, says;

"Goodnight, China."

And leaves, her surprised eyes tracking him until he disappears out of her sight.

* * *

It takes a while for her to fall asleep, but when she does, she goes to sleep all happy and giddy that night, with the feel of Sougo's kiss tingling her lips.

She has a nightmare she can't make sense of that night.

She's dying, dying, _dying_ -

It's so hard to breathe, she's wheezing, struggling to get a little bit of air into her lungs. Her chest feels heavy, like it's filled with lead and she's trying to push down the metal to make room for oxygen. With every heavy breath, a little bit of that red, red metal comes up, up from her lungs, through her mouth and down her chin.

There are hands holding her up, chanting _, "China, China, Kagura, come back. Come back! Please, don't do this, please, please!"_ , but she can't breathe, she can't _breathe_ , metal and blood filling her lungs and _she can't can't can't-_

* * *

On day fourteen, she wakes up with her throat dry and with a distinct burn in her eyes.

She first washes her face to get rid of the red tinge on her face, then goes to the kitchen to eat breakfast with her adopted family.

Shinpachi is, as always, preparing their breakfast while Gintoki sits slumped on the ground. The effort of keeping his head up is seemingly too much for him, as it's hanging tilted towards his shoulder.

"Good morning, Gin-chan, Shinpachi." she mumbles, taking her spot by the table.

"Good morning, Kagura-chan! How did you sleep?" Shinpachi asks with a tone of voice that is too high and too fucking awake this early in the morning.

"God, I wish I hadn't said anything. Shut up." Says Kagura, also resting her head upon the countertop.

"Kagura-chan! That's a very rude thing to say! What would _Aneue_ say?" Shinpachi says while checking the time on the rice counter.

"Don't know. Don't care." said Kagura, her mind still stuck on the fact that she kissed that goddamn Sadist – no matter how innocently – on the _mouth_. _Shit_. How is she supposed to get married now?

She goes through who she can ask about the situation.

If she asks _Anego,_ she'll get questioned on every little detail. Tsukki will ask how much money he has and if he can provide for her once he -god forbid- owns her for eternity. Those travesties and Kyubeii will ask about the size of his dick, and while she has no judgement towards peoples' fetishes, she is not motivated to fuel them either.

Shinpachi brings their rice and soup while she's lost in her thoughts. He sets them down on the table, nudges Gintoki awake with his elbow and turns to her.

"How was the festival, Kagura-chan?" he asks. "Did you have fun?"

"Huh? Oh. Yeah." she says, fully focused on her rice.

"I didn't hear any news about stalls being destroyed by two demons either. Didn't know you two could be civil towards each other." says Gintoki.

Kagura hums, shoving her food into her mouth in lieu of responding.

Shinpachi sets down his chopsticks, unnerved by the usually loud mouthed girl not spewing out words with the ferocity of a machine gun.

He scrutinizes her more closely, and notices the faint bags under her eyes and her pales than usual complexion, and decides to inquire about it after she's done with her food.

She puts down her bowl and chopsticks, and with a sigh, prepares to get up but Shinpachi placing his hand on her forearm stops her.

"Are you alright, Kagura-chan? You don't look well. Did you catch a cold?"

"I'm okay, Glasses. I just had a nightmare, that's all."

"Oh. Do you want to talk about it?"

She considers not saying anything, Sougo's desperate eyes and the tone that rang clear despite the disturbing silence still fresh in her mind. But worrying Shinpachi isn't something she wants. He worries too much about too many things already. She swears that one day he'll die of high blood pressure.

She sighs, not knowing how to begin and stares at a small scratch on the surface of the low table.

"I don't know what I saw. It felt like I was dying, and Sadist was there… And he… He…" she trails off, fiddling with the ends of her _qipao_.

She misses Gintoki shooting a grave look at Shinpachi, who grimaces and shakes his head ' _no'_. Gintoki frowns before putting on what he hopes looks like his usual, bored expression.

"Maybe you ate something bad yesterday, Kagura. You know those things make you see weird shit at night. Like that one time I drank expired strawberry milk and dreamt I was burning my JUMP collection."

Kagura thinks for a moment, and seeming appeased, says;

"Uh-huh, you're right, Gin-chan. You can never trust those food stalls."

Raising from the floor, she dusts the skirt of her _qipao_ and heads towards the door.

"I'm going for a walk. Come on, Sadaharu."

She puts on her shoes, grabs her umbrella, and she's out the door with her dog bounding after her.

Gintoki lets out a sigh, leaning on the table with both of his elbows resting on it and rubs his temples. There's a frown marring his face.

"God _damn_ it."

Shinpachi is silent besides him, eyes boring holes into the ground.

"Do you think we should tell her, Gin-san?" he says quietly.

Gintoki drops his hand from his forehead, squeezing it into a fist.

"No. He didn't want her to know and it's not our place to tell her, anyways. That _stupid_ kid. Doesn't he realize that the later she learns, the more it's gonna hurt?"

* * *

"Are you going out again, Sougo?" Kondo asks from where he's leaning on the doorway of Sougo's room with his arms crossed. "To see the Yorozuya girl?"

"Yeah." says Sougo, straightening his uniform jacket and grabbing his sword to fix it on his belt. He forgoes his sleeping mask. He won't need it, now that he doesn't have forever to etch her face into his mind, to memorize every look and every expression that she makes.

"Kondo-san," he says, turning towards the door. "I know I never said this, but I appreciate everything you've done and still do for me. Thank you."

Kondo's shoulders stiffen and he drops his arms to his sides, taking a step into the room.

"Don't talk like everything is over, Sougo! Our men are still looking for a _miko_ that can turn this situation around. We'll find a way out of this."

Sougo shrugs.

"It's alright, Kondo-san. I knew what I was getting myself into."

A solemn silence hangs in the air. This is something that words and empty promises won't solve.

"I'll be going, then. China should be at the park by now." He says, making his way out the door, leaving Kondo standing in the spartan room.

* * *

There was always this 'will they or won't they' situation between them. They were the only ones who could keep up with each other, be it with words or with punches. When the situation called for it though, they moved with an understanding of each other so deep, it was like they were two parts of one. They became each other's pillars, compasses, north stars. No matter what happened, they would find their way back, back to each other.

It was a matter of time. Maybe later, rather than sooner, they would catch on and maybe not put aside their differences, but learn to live with them.

But Sougo learnt the hard way that time was a privilege, not something to take for granted and with his rather harsh wake up call, decided to take the reins and make the most of the limited time he had left.

* * *

The eighteenth day brings with it the truth.

Kagura was always aware that life is cruel. She became acquainted with the fact early in her life and it did its best to remind her of it in every chance it got.

She thinks she shouldn't be surprised one of the best things she got to have, other than her Yorozuya family, is to be taken away before she even gets used to it.

She keeps seeing the same nightmare every night starting from the first night has it. She memorizes the details, how the air smells of the distinct smell of blood and copper, how heavy her lungs feel and tighten with every breath she tries to take. How she feels so, so cold but the arms holding her up are so warm, easing her discomfort just a tiny bit. How his eyes look even brighter and a deeper crimson with a slight sheen of tears and a splatter of blood on his cheek.

She catalogues every emotion she can detect in his face, denial, refusal, and the most prominent one; desperation. She wants to reach up and dry his eyes, clean his face of the blood stark against his pale skin, but her arms refuse to rise and she can do nothing but lay there and listen to his pleas for her to _'hang on, just hang on China, just a little bit more-'_ until she wakes up.

She wakes up worn out and restless every time, and it's starting to take its toll on her. She goes to the park every day driven by the need to see Sougo and reassure herself that everything is alright. As more days pass without sleep, though, she feels herself getting slow and sluggish.

That day, she falls asleep on the bench Sougo has claimed as his own waiting for him and wakes up in Gintoki's _futon_.

She tries to recall how she got there, but comes up blank. She only remembers going to the park, watching Sadaharu run around and play with kids who are lucky enough to catch his eye.

Hearing two voices she knows by heart coming from the kitchen, Kagura gets up rubbing the sleep from her eyes and makes her way towards where they are.

"-you going to tell her, Sougo? She deserves to know."

Kagura stops in her tracks. Gintoki's tone is unusually solemn and she wants to know who they are talking about that can make him like this.

Sougo's voice comes in just moments later. She plasters herself to the wall of the hallway and tilts her head to hear them better.

"I can't tell her, _Danna_. You know how she is. She'll do something stupid and probably dangerous and what I've done will just go to waste."

Gintoki sighs.

"Cut the crap, kid. I know you want to protect her, but after you're gone, what'll happen then? It will only get harder to tell her when the time's closer."

"I know that, _Danna_."

There's silence for a while, she can only hear clinking of cups. She takes that time to process what she has heard.

She feels confused, angry, and something else she can't name. Disappointment, maybe? She doesn't know. Sadist is going away and he didn't tell her? Where's he going? She thought they were close enough for him to share something like that with her, especially after the events of the last two weeks.

Gintoki's voice rouses her from her thoughts.

"How long do you have left?"

"Just under two weeks, now." he says, and Kagura feels the world crash down around her. She wants to barge in, beat the damn Sadist to the ground and demand answers but she can do nothing but stand frozen in her spot.

"You know she won't take this well."

"There's nothing to be done. I trust you to take care of her, _Danna_."

She hears rustling of cloth and draws herself further down the hallway.

"Sougo-"

"It's alright. I know you'll protect her in my place too, when I'm not here to do it."

Kagura makes it to Gintoki's room just in time, hearing the kitchen door slide open, and slides down onto the floor.

* * *

Dinner that night feels tense, at least to her. Gintoki and Shinpachi are still their usual selves, bickering with their usual fervor but she feels no inclination to join in. She doesn't feel like eating. She absently picks at her rice.

Making up her mind, she decides to ask Gintoki.

"Gin-chan."

Gintoki makes a muffled sound, his mouth full.

"Why is Sadist leaving?"

A heavy silence falls upon the trio. Gintoki freezes with his chopsticks halfway to his mouth while Shinpachi stares intently into his bowl. Gintoki swallows his mouthful.

"A-ah, Kagura, where did that come from? I don't-"

"Don't bullshit me, Gin-chan! I heard you and Sadist talking today! I said, why is he leaving?"

Seeing his adoptive daughter so pissed off, and hurt veiled in her eyes stirs something deep within him. He weighs his options, to tell her and let her be hurt now, or go around the topic only for her to get devastated later.

The look she shoots him erases all his doubts. She's tough and strong willed, but she's still his little girl, and he can't bear to see her like this.

He sets down his chopsticks, and fixes his gaze to hers.

"Do you remember what happened about two weeks ago, Kagura?"

* * *

She's glad, as she lays sprawled on the ground staring up at the sky, for once not afraid the sun will burn her to her core if she stays under it long enough, that the day she dies isn't a rainy one.

There's a puncture at her chest the size of her fist with blood pumping out, but as long as she doesn't move and keeps her breathing light, she doesn't feel any pain. She doesn't think about it too much, she's just grateful she doesn't die in agony.

The clashing of swords and cries of men fighting around her are muffled, like they are coming from somewhere distant. She saw Gintoki and Shinpachi barge in with the _Shinsengumi_ before she was shot. They are probably winning, she thinks, as she can't imagine her Gin-chan and that Sadist to ever lose to anyone.

She forgets about it soon enough, goes back to staring at the sun which seems a bit dimmer. Or maybe it's her vision that is dimming. She doesn't know. Her mind is too fuzzy to think and cold is creeping up her limbs.

Someone drops down beside her. She notices the noise has ceased and tilts her head to the side to see who it is. Blinking her eyes slowly a few times to get rid of the black spots all over the place, she finally registers a flash of silver hair.

She tries to push air through her lungs, to open her mouth to speak, but the result is a series of coughs that dribble blood up her lungs and from her mouth. The movement disturbs the wound and the agony she hadn't felt arrives with vengeance. Gintoki presses on the wound to stop the bleeding as much as he can. Her ears are ringing so loudly that she doesn't hear Gintoki is talking until he is halfway through whatever he's saying.

"-on, Kagura, hold on, the ambulance is on its way, alright? You just hang in there."

Kagura shakes her head 'no', or tries to, as what she does is a miniscule turn of her head.

Someone else comes to her other side with hurried steps and then they are raising her torso off the ground and bringing her to a warm chest. The hands feel blessedly warm, she feels colder with every passing second but the hands help.

She doesn't know when she closed her eyes but she opens them. Breathing is a struggle now, even the smallest amounts of air not passing through her blood-filled trachea. She finds herself looking into familiar, crimson eyes. She can see his lips move, his face scrunched up in an expression she has never seen before on him, but the ringing in her ears is getting louder and louder-

It's so hard to breathe, she's wheezing, struggling to get a little bit of air into her lungs. Her chest feels heavy, like it's filled with lead and she's trying to push down the metal to make room for oxygen. With every heavy breath, a little bit of that red, red metal comes up, up from her lungs, through her mouth and down her chin.

There are hands holding her up, chanting _, "China, China, Kagura, come back. Come back! Please, don't do this, please, please!"_ , but she can't breathe, she can't _breathe_ , metal and blood filling her lungs and _she can't can't can't-_

* * *

Kamui has stepped on many toes on his path to being the strongest space pirate. His ruthlessness and wrath admired by some, and despised by most. He has no shortage of enemies, people who would do anything to get revenge for their titles, reputations, and most of all, their prides.

So, when someone hears that the infamous _Harusame_ admiral has a weak little sister on a tiny planet called Earth, grasping at every chance to enact their revenge, they go after her.

They first plan to hold her hostage and offer to give her back to Kamui with the price being humiliation at worst and his life at best.

Some idiotic earthlings decide to meddle, though, and their to-be hostage is shot by one of their own in the ensuing chaos.

Seeing the reason they decided to come down to Earth almost dead on the ground, there is nothing left to do but leave. Their revenge will have to wait.

* * *

Sougo is at their park, enjoying the crisp night air before he has to go back to the _Shinsengumi_ compound. He knows he will get almost no sleep, his brain hardwired to spend as much time as he can awake. He lets out a chuckle. All that time he spent napping the day away and now he can't -doesn't want to- stay asleep more than three hours a day.

He doesn't regret it. Seeing China on the ground, much like a broken doll with her blood pooled around her body, its crimson color more vibrant against her pale skin is something he never wants to see again. He had thought, in that moment that he would do anything, _anything,_ to bring her back, and the _Kami_ had answered.

Looking up at the heavens, tracing the stars and constellations, he finds that he would do it again without remorse.

In a heartbeat.

* * *

Kagura running towards him shouting profanities is what parts him from his thoughts. He thinks she got annoyed at something or other at the _Yorozuya_ building, as there is always something to disturb her peace there and her fuse is rather short. His lips form a small smirk. Loosening his stance with anticipation, he prepares for the lively brawl that is sure to take place.

When she gets closer, though, he can see her red cheeks, her eyes livid and tears running down her face. Worried, he lets down his guard.

And is met with a punch on his face.

He falls on his ass, thankfully meeting the soft grass and decides not to get up, seeing the girl in front of him still furious, her breathing heavy and both her hands clutched into fists at her sides.

"Why did you do it, Sadist? How _could_ you! God damn it! Are you fucking _mad_?"

Sougo rubs his aching cheek. There will be a bruise tomorrow.

"The fuck are you going on about, China? I can take you in for assault." He says, trying to lighten the mood.

Which fails pathetically. It only seems to make her angrier, her frown deepening, tears still pooled in her eyes.

"Cut the crap, Sadist. Why? Why did you do it?"

Sougo lets his hand drop from his cheek with a sigh. He pushes himself up and looks her straight in the eye.

"You know damn well why. Don't make me spell it out, China."

She drops her gaze to the ground. Her shoulders shaking, she tries to smother the sobs rising up her chest.

Sougo keeps silent. He just reaches for her hand, pulling her down to sit on the grass and lies down. Not letting go of his hand, Kagura lies down next to him with her head on his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat. His hand comes up to grasp her shoulder, pulling her closer to him and slowly rubbing up and down.

"I couldn't stand by and do nothing when the _Kami_ gave me a chance. I couldn't let it, let you, slip away." He says quietly, like he doesn't want to disturb the silence that is unique only to the night.

Kagura feels her chest constrict, a fresh wave of tears making its way to her eyes which she desperately tries to stop.

She tilts her head to look at him, eyes cloudy with remorse.

"How would you feel if it was me? How would you feel if you had to go on knowing I traded my life for yours?"

Sougo squeezes her upper arm, almost like he's trying to make sure she's there with him, real and solid.

"You will live on, China. Promise me that you will."

Kagura shuts her eyes and takes a deep breath to stop herself from bursting into tears. It's too much, too much.

"Remember when you told me about Koharu and Ren?" She asks.

The change of topic taking him by surprise, Sougo just hums.

Kagura molds her body closer to his, prompting him to turn his head to look at her.

"Promise me we'll find each other in our next lives, Sadist. Promise me." She says, nearly choking on her words.

Sougo knows there won't be a next life for him. The _Kami_ are cruel, and they always collect their debts when they come due. They have their precious two weeks, and after that there is nothing. No second chances, no new beginning, not even becoming constellations to at last be together at the skies.

But looking at her tearful eyes which shine with a slight glimmer of hope, nearly lost among the sea of sorrow, he can't tell her the truth. He places a small kiss on her lips, tasting the salt of her tears.

"I promise, China. Be it in a hundred or a thousand years, I'll find you. No matter what."

* * *

 _Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field._

 _I'll meet you there._

 _When the soul lies down in that grass_

 _The world is too full to talk about._

-Rumi

* * *

 **Notes:**

Based on the prompt:

'I sold my soul to bring you back to life after your untimely death and I only have a month left with you so I'm trying to make it count.'

These fics feel so unrefined and raw, I hope I can get better with time. Thank you for reading! Reviews are appreciated.


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